doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
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