Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
