I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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