That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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