so explain again why im purple
no
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
