Too much gin, very little bucket
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
