Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
