smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
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