Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
