I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
my vag is so smooth its legendary
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
