: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
