when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
