The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I wanna passion pit in your ass
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Randomize
