I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
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