I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
