Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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