I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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