wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
