i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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