You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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