I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
