I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
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