i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
We're too hungover to prance.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Randomize
