yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize