my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
