She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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