I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
