I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
