why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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