If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
