If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
