I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
