I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
