hell yes lets make some ravioli
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
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