at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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