Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Randomize
