is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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