woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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