How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
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