Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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