the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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