we're blogging at a bar
No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
