I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
