Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
