Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
