There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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