dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
he was CRYING into my vagina
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Randomize
