He kissed a someone with a penis
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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