We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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