She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
