is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
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