Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(856): View more from New Jersey

a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell

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(718): View more from New York

you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"

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(954): View more from Florida

had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her

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(517): View more from Michigan

The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came

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(949): View more from California

We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.

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(518): View more from New York

Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.

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(206): View more from Washington

why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?

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(417): View more from Missouri

Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.

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