Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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