At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
