Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(573): View more from Missouri

Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?

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(859): View more from Kentucky

you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to

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(713): View more from Texas

He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk

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(714): View more from California

A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.

(1-714): View more from California

YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES

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(661): View more from California

First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"

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(571): View more from Virginia

we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy

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(303): View more from Colorado

I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...

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