i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
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