I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize