So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Randomize