weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
