you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
