i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
