He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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