can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
