I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
When are your genitals available?
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
